Sandra Eagle’s 20 Guided Steps Towards Finding "The Inner Fabulous You"
Haven’t we all had those moments where we feel fabulous, just fabulous. Then we get smacked in the psyche with those un-fabulous thoughts, or self-doubts, that leave us feeling like something left in the refrigerator’s vegetable keeper too long….
Here, Sandra Eagle, L.C.S.W., shares her guided visualization that she uses regularly in her practice. This exercise will help you transform the intense energy locked within self-rejecting thinking into the positive energy that you need in order to really feel good.
The self-rejecting mindset has very specific elements. However, it is different for each of us: some women feel stupid, some feel fat or ugly, or misshapen, some feel low-class, or less-than, some feel too short, or too big or too pushy, or too much of a push-over.
What are the elements that define your experience when you are deeply mired in self-rejection? What persona drives your thinking? Now that you’ve identified your sub-personality, we can begin the visualization exercise.
The Visualization Exercise
Please assume a comfortable position, choose soothing music, add your favorite aroma, or do anything to support your goal of deep healing. When I follow these steps carefully, or in my practice, it often leads to a profound healing.
1. Begin by closing your eyes.
2. Breathe high into your chest.
3. Drop away from your thinking, and into your body. Bring your awareness away from your thoughts and into your body. You may find that your attention comes to your chest, or perhaps it's in your belly, trust wherever you find yourself. Now focus your breath there.
4. With your breath and your intention, create a sacred space here in your body.
5. Make an intention to come into communion with your own divine level of being. We have different words for it. We call it Inner Wisdom, or Spirit, or Universal Intelligence, or God, or Goddess, or Source.
6. Communicate your willingness to surrender the work of this visualization to that divine level. You've gotten as far as you're going to get surrendering this issue to your thinking mind; now you're ready to have a breakthrough, to do the healing that can only be done by going a level deeper inside yourself. This is the time. Give it over.
7. Allow an image to form—of this un-fabulous you—and trust whatever image comes; there's important information in our imagery. This isn't all of you, it's not your identity, it's not the part of you that can feel good; it's the version of you that shows up when you're in self-rejection mode. It's the personification of those elements that get activated when you feel your own specific brand of undesirable. Notice what this self-rejecting you looks like. Is she your present age or a different age. See how she holds her body, note the expression on her face. See what she's wearing and notice where it is you're picturing her. Refer to her from now-on in the third person, to remind yourself that this isn't all of you, but a very specific part of you. You must be willing to get to know her better if you are to do any healing work. It may be difficult for you to acknowledge her if your perception of her holds shame, or anger, or fear.
You're doing great. You're right where you need to be for a deeper level of self-discovery and healing.
8. Notice the thoughts going through her mind. If she's speaking, notice what she is saying. Take your time to really ‘get’ her.
9. Now, tell me, what would she say she wants? Don't focus on interpreting what she wants; rather, listen to what she—as the character—would say she wants.
10. Now freeze time all around her so that there's nothing she can affect or be influenced by in this scene so that she can return to this exact moment later.
The pressure is off. Let her lean back.
11. Go deep inside her; what is she really feeling? Take your time with this. Use your breath to communicate your willingness to be with her.
12. Now question her: what does she really need in order to heal? By recognizing this deep-belly feeling, you can begin to grow as you and she release its grasp.
13. Take a moment now to look at how she behaves outwardly? It's likely that how she behaves outwardly somehow perpetuates how she feels deep inside.
14. Bring your awareness back to what she's feeling deep inside her. The question is what does she really need to heal? She needs to be willing to acknowledge that she is not finding resolution in her thinking mind. Allow her to surrender her pain and her desire to heal to Spirit.
15. As she does, imagine a path appearing before her. Let her know that this is a path of healing that she has summoned by her willingness to acknowledge that we are more than our thinking minds.
16. Send her down the path, bringing with her this age-old feeling that she carries deep in her belly.
15. From the other end of the path have a figure appear who can give her what she really needs in order to heal. Trust the imagery. It may be a figure she recognizes or a totally imaginary figure. It may be a scene instead of a figure. It's your wisdom we're accessing here: let it lead the way.
17. Have them approach each other. Let the figure give her what she really needs, and has needed for so long now, in order to heal. Let me assure you - somewhere deep inside -you do know what she really needs. Notice what happens between them. Notice what happens inside her as she is in the presence of the figure.
18. Let her get what she really needs. With your breath, guide her to receive it. Take your time to complete this work.
19. When you feel complete, allow the energy between her and the figure to merge: this belongs to her. Let the figure go—in whatever way makes sense in your image. Have the version of you that we’ve been working with leave the the path and return to her original scene where time has been frozen. Now unfreeze time and see her do, or hear her say, or feel, or think something different; this indicates that she is on the healing path. The feeling is no longer stuck inside her but has begun to heal. She is turning a corner in a way that supports the integration of you as a whole.
Sandra Eagle may be contacted at 203.550.2111 or email@example.com